Wake me up when September comes...

August went by in a flash! The Daily Toe is a bit confused. It feels like sitting in a moving train and the fields and cows go whoosh whoosh whoosh past you.

Here are some August antics:

1) I attended two birthday parties over two Saturdays. One turned 30, the other turned three. Both parties had a fair share of similarities despite the huge age difference.

Goody bags:

For the Frou's 30th, she insisted that she was the Birthday Princess. *gag* I got baby pink goody bags which screamed "Birthday Princess" and "It's FUN to be ONE" (on sale lah!) and filled them up with low-fat gummy dinosaurs, baby ball cookies, chocolates and fake tattoos. Surprisingly, the sweeties came in handy. A bottle of absinthe appeared magically on the dinner table. For the uninitiated, absinthe is vile stuff and used to be banned in many countries. The Birthday Princess thought it would be great fun to down shots. Everyone was chomping on the sweeties to rid the awful taste of absinthe. After my second shot, I started to sound like a tranny. I could feel the absinthe burn through my oesophagus. I also found a fake tattoo on my back when I took a shower. Guests were fake tattooing themselves in highly inappropriate places. Oh dear.

The Best Friend's son's birthday party had goody bags too. The BF got an alibaba piñata and filled it up with sweets. Before the party she gave me strict instructions to behave myself and "let the three year-olds pick up the sweets first" and "don't fight". Guess who was the first one to have a go at the piñata? Guess who was scrambling on the floor with the three year-olds grabbing sweets? In my (feeble) defence, I was helping the Bub fill his bag. I am ashamed to say that I appear in all the piñata pictures - you can see my giraffe limbs outstretched.

That's me attacking the piñata...

Balloons:

As the Frou declared herself Birthday Princess, I got her princessy balloons for the party. I choose a big-ass crown (again with the words Birthday Princess emblazoned on it) and some stars and hearts. And what's a balloon without helium? I parked my car illegally at Holland Village, tottered to the balloon shop, collected the balloons and ran back to the car. Luck would have it that a strong gust of wind would blow. All the balloons came alive and wrapped themselves around my neck. It was like a scene from a B-grade horror flick when the dumb blond gets strangled by an octopus whilst frolicking in the sea. I was in the middle of Holland Village getting attacked by a giant silver and pink crown. I displayed very unladylike behaviour when squashing the balloons into the backseat.

The theme for the Bub's party was Mickey Mouse Fun Club. I was in charge of the balloons (again) and this time the balloons were very well behaved. The Mickey Mouse head was a bit unnerving though.

What really pissed me off was when I saw a three year-old grab Mickey Mouse and pummelled him. My heart broke when I saw Mickey slowly deflate.

Cake:

The restaurant made a fabulous layered chocolate cake with pink flowers for the Frou. However, the cake was wasted on Neanderthals like us. As the night wore on, there was champagne on the floor, cake smeared on the table, cigarettes stubbed out on plates...

As the Bub is lactose intolerant, BF got him a dairy-free cake. It was...ok. The alibaba chocolate tasted like tofu. One three year-old took it upon himself to blow out the candles (it's not his birthday dammit!) and spat on the cake.

2) The Best Friend gave birth! The placenta story will come in the next post...

3) It was Happy Teachers' Day! My present haul was quite splendid. I received pork from my form class. As you know, my favourite meat is pork. The kiddos got char siew baos and siew mais. Ahhh... I also got coffee and chocolates. The children know me well.

Hello September. I am awake.

The Frou and I will be going on a road trip tomorrow. This will involve some climbing in KL and hot springs in Perak. I wait with bated breath.