Up Close and Personal

I have a personal trainer. Why? I am not too sure. I used to laugh at the people in the gym with trainers because the trainers often look bored while counting squats that are not done properly. As we all know. I tend to eat the humble pie a lot... That's how I found myself at the gym one Sunday morning, face to face with Beefcake.

Beefcake is a sweetheart. He's young and heavily tattooed. Some of his tattoos were done by himself. He was earnestly explaining to me that it's very difficult to use his left hand to tattoo his right hand. Hence, the ugliness of the little tattoos on his left hand. Having said that, Beefcake is a nice fella and I was willing to part with a substantial amount of money for him to TRAIN me.

After a few sessions, Beefcake and I have come to a common understanding. He knows that I am quite diligent when it comes to fitness. He also knows how to present challenges to me, couched in such a way that I would lap it all up.

Toe (green in the face after 15 x 2 sets of push-ups): I don't wanna play anymore!
Beefcake: You want THE BODY or not??
Toe (coerced into submission): Want! Want!

Toe (blue in the face after 25 x 2 sets of inner-thigh workout): I'm dying...
Beefcake: You want THE BODY or not??
Toe (whimpering in submission): Want! Want!

You get the drift.

Beefcake worms his way around me, using oddly persuasive techniques.

Beefcake: Eh, inner-thigh muscles very hard to get. If you can get, you are good. Want or not?
Toe (bravely taking up the challenge): Want! Want!

Beefcake is also somewhat endearing. He allows me to correct his spelling on his workout sheet.
Lunches = Lunges
Bisects = Biceps
Trisects = Triceps
Bless his brawn...

It has been an uphill challenge indeed. The muscles are constantly in pain and it takes a hell lot of willpower to do a 10 minute run after a 90 minute workout. Apparently, I really want THE BODY.

Toe: Can I run slowly? Say 7.5?
Beefcake: You think you senior citizen is it? You want THE BODY or not?
Toe (in complete agreement): Want! Want!

I don't want...