The Cherry and Assorted Fruit

Randomness, he says.
Infatuation, I say.

So, are men from Mars and women from Venus?

Words of wisdom to women from Sexing the Cherry by the very astute Jeanette Winterson (with the occasional interjections in italics by The Daily Toe):

1. Men are easy to please but are not pleased for long before some new novelty must delight them. (Especially when the new novelty comes in the form of a nubile young thang.)

2. Men are easy to make passionate but are unable to sustain it.

3. Men are always seeking soft women but find their lives in ruin without strong women.

4. Men must be occupied at all times otherwise they make mischief. (They will most definitely make mischief with the nubile young thang…)

5. Men deem themselves weighty and women light. Therefore it is simple to tie a stone round their necks and drown them should they become too troublesome. (This is my favourite! It’s hilarious! I can think of a few potential men to drown.)

6. Men are best left in groups by themselves where they will entirely wear themselves out in drunkenness and competition. While this is taking place a woman may carry on with her own life unhindered. (Another gem of truth – let the Neanderthals maul each other to death while we sip lychee martinis and watch.)

7. Men are never never to be trusted with what is closet to your heart, and if it is they who are closest to your heart, do not tell them.

8. If a man asks you for money, do not give it to him. (This is for all my young friends. DO NOT GIVE MONEY TO A MAN! You’ll never see your money again and they will even have the audacity to ask for more. Next, they will bite the hand that feeds.)

9. If you ask a man for money and he does not give it to you, sell his richest possession and leave at once.

10. Your greatest strength is that every man believes he knows the sum and possibility of every woman. (Hah! Think Cleopatra, Eve, Delilah and erm… Medusa?)

Disclaimer:
Boys and girls, do not shoot the messenger! The above is just a funny bit of writing that I thought I’d share and is by no means a reflection of my innermost feelings.

Fruitcake.