The Klein and I did a spot of shopping yesterday. This little exchange took place at a dinky pushcart stall with a very enthusiastic auntie who wanted me to buy her entire pushcart.
Auntie: Miss ah, you Malay? (As an afterthought after she saw my frown) Or mixed?
The Daily Toe (with wild gesticulation): Bu shi, bus shi! (No, no!)
Auntie: Are you sure?
The Daily Toe (looking very apologetic): Wo shi hua ren. Zhen de. (I am Chinese. Honest.)
Auntie later complimented me on my Mandarin prowess. She told me that I speak the language very well. “Hen hao!” she said with gusto. Klein tried to stifle a giggle. Those who know me know I can’t speak the language to save my life. The Frou has written numerous entries about our linguistic embarrassments e.g. when I told her “wo de yan jing huai le”. When translated, I said that my eyes are broken. I meant to say I am going blind.
My biggest downfall in Mandarin is my inaccuracy in the tone of each word. In Mandarin, each word can have four tones and if you use the incorrect tone, it can completely change the meaning of the intended word or simply sound like a bumbling imbecile.
My friends will never forget this incident in a Chinese restaurant:
Waitress (in Mandarin): How many glasses of water do you want?
The Daily Toe (in what she thinks is Mandarin): wu(2) bei(3).
(Which is completely off the mark – correct tone should be wu(3) bei(1) or something difficult like that. Instead of saying five glasses, I think said a China province. Well, at least I didn’t say something rude…)
I blame the sun for making me the colour that I am. Don’t even get me started on the tan-lines.
Wo shi hua ren. Really.
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