Me and You and a Dog Named Boo...

I am thankful for little mercies such as my cats cuddling up to me when I sit on the couch to blog and excellent friends like The P who would happily use the new blender to make iced coffee for me.

My maternal grandmother is in hospital and this time it is not looking very optimistic. Mum is taking a very pragmatic stand and hopes that she goes in peace without resuscitation and the life support. I just hope that Mum will be all right.

I was at the hospital last night and I’ve always known that I don’t do hospitals. However, each time I go to visit someone, the pangs of guilt and sadness are further amplified and I struggle to remain stoic. At the hospital, I realised that my family is like an episode of Brothers & Sisters (somewhat dysfunctional) and dealing with the extended family can be extremely trying.

Grandmother had pulled out her intravenous drip and my sister decided to take matters into her own hands to fix it. As all the night doctors were busy, she and the nurse tried to insert the line back. I watched my sister as she looked for a vein on my grandmother’s arm. It was difficult as her skin was already so thin and there had been many unsuccessful attempts to find a suitable vein. I watched my sister as she told the nurse what to do and how she wanted it done. I have never seen my sister at work before. I only know her as the one with the funny hair who loves to eat and slob around the house. It was pretty damn amazing to see her at work.

Mum was trying to keep it together last night. She told us not to tell anyone that Grandmother is dying because she does not want other people to worry. She said she would not tell her friends if Grandmother passes away because she does not want to trouble them to attend the wake.

On the way to the hospital this morning, Mum was telling me about the family politicking and how everything gets ugly when money is involved. It’s sad really. People don’t care very much until an illness or a death occurs then a lot of finger-pointing and brown-nosing take place. I think my mother has been a very filial daughter and I am not even sure if I can be half of what she is. I will try because I do love my family very much.

I am indeed thankful for the little mercies. The people around me give me so much love.

Thank you Krusty for letting me slurp up your leftover pasta. You are very thoughtful! And you know I have absolutely no qualms about eating cold food!

Thank you The P for the Songs of Happiness. It means a lot. The Songs of Happiness is the maddest compilation of happy music ever – songs from my childhood like “Me and You and a Dog Named Boo” to meaningless “Milkshake” music. I’m lovin’ it.

I leave you, my friends, with Remember by Christina Rossetti.

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.