My Fake Children

I’ve been spending what I think is a large amount of time with the godchildren. Screaming 4 year old, sticky fingers, drool, spit, being pummelled in the face by a 1 year old, snatching mobile phones / keys / wallets / sunglasses away – I’ve managed to accomplish or battle them all.

I have newfound admiration for the Best Friend and Krusty. Two hours with the kids and I’m about the fling them off the escalator. I don’t know how they can do it the whole day without going off the bend. The Best Friend did use an expletive on the child though. Haha! I just shouted back at him when he shouted at me. I think I frightened him a bit because the Best Friend is always very calm and gentle. With the occasional eye-balling and swearing though.

I argued with the 4 year old last night after Christmas dinner. She tried to push me off a green stool. And proceeded to throw a goddamn fit. I told her, “I am not your mother so I don’t really give a (insert choice expletive) what you do.” It’s not nice to push a guest off a green stool. Hence, the battle of the Ah Lians ensued. Poor Krusty had to do a lot of damage control. Note to self: Do not fight with the children.

The holidays are almost over and I am glad that I did get to spend some time with the children. It’s an avenue worth considering in the future.

Do you know that Bob the Builder’s cat is named Pilchard? Pilchard is hilarious. He’s blue.

The boy watching TV. Apparently, I look like that when I watch Bob the Builder too.