I will Give You Summer Under my Backside

My dear friends will know that the phrase “summer under my backside” refers to puke-inducing cringe-worthy blog posts declaring undying love and devotion and the likes. This post will be a summer under my backside post so, The Frou, please hold the barf in.

This is my first year blogging and I think, like many bloggers, the end of the year requires a mandatory post about taking stock of the year and I shall jump (hopefully glamourously) on the bandwagon. Watch the bandwagon collapse…

It has been a truly crazy year for The Daily Toe.

The New Friends
As you all know, I met The Frou at the climbing gym this year. It has been only a year and I feel as if I’ve known this manic creature all my life. She’s the one I can call at 8am and run to her house bawling and she’ll happily lie to her boss and take the day off to pat me on my head. I can be totally undignified in front of her and she will still hold my hair up when I puke. (The Frou, you, me and The Boy have already seen each other throw up. There is no dignity left!) I am indeed the luckiest wombat on earth to have a BFF like The Frou. We went through some pretty bad shit, we sang our way to KL, we climbed like monsters, we did the platform thing at Zouk and we made it through everything unscathed. We don’t have to call each other every day and a text message like “Are you alive?” will always suffice. I will give you summer under my backside!

I met the Obligatory Male Company through The Frou. I’ll always remember our first meeting at Wala’s with fondness. The conversations were noisy and schizophrenic. And from then, the Obligatory Male Company’s most oft-seen pose would be him clutching his forehead in pain and him bemoaning the fact that he is surrounded by crazy girls. His tolerance is admirable! I hope we are still his favourite women. Next Thursday night?

The next one is slightly tricky. I’m not sure if you still read this but you rocked my world albeit briefly.

The Inner Circle
I tried to spend more time with the godchildren this year and I enjoyed myself tremendously.

Krusty, I promise to be more patient with the 4 year old and not engage in Ah Lian staring matches. I will dutifully buy them My Little friggin’ Ponies and read to them. You can call me anything you want me to ferry the funny family around.

The BF, I wholeheartedly approve your decision of letting your child call me *Funny Bee instead of AUNTIE. *[The BF’s younger brother who is 17 years younger than us (he’s 16 this year) used to have this grotesque plastic purple bee toy. I think it was some Digimon / Pokemon thing. When he was about four, I used to chase him around the house with it and we would roll on the floor laughing. That’s how he started calling me Funny Bee. (Remember, Josh?) It’s somewhat odd that he still calls me that in his grown-up man voice.] I will try to be a good godmother and an amah on wheels. And try not to cuss in front of the child and sit through Bob the friggin’ Builder with him.

The inner circle girls PX and V have been very longsuffering. We try to tolerate each other’s idiosyncrasies and try not to be idiots. Here’s to more barbeques and boys cooking food for us!

24, you’ll always be the one who gives me a happy twirly star every morning. It was a good run.

The Family
I survived my first holiday with my family in 16 years! There were times I wanted to run away from them in the tube station screaming, “I do not know them! We are not related!” but I think I managed to exercise some self-restraint. The sister has been very kind to me, always answering the phone even when I am drunk-dialling her at 3am. I think her sole objective is to peel her younger sister off the floor from time to time, to ply her with legal drugs and dispense medical advice. I never say this but she is bloody patient and wonderful.

I watch my grandmother grow older each day and I know that I need to be ready for whatever that happens. This year I experienced new life in the form of my baby kitten Tiggy and the death of my guinea pig Chippy. I know it sounds very Lion King – the Circle of Life and all that. However, I know that I will never be ready where my grandmother is concerned. She is my life. To my young friends, you’ll never know what you have till you lose it.

The Ones who are Out to Get Me
A friend told me that her friend’s girlfriend hates me and thinks I am fugly. Get this – I have only met this girl ONCE for TWO MINUTES. I think she had me at “Hello”. She is the kind of girl who makes up her own name i.e. the one who flips through Her World magazine, is enthralled by the glossy Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Gucci advertisements and names herself after one of the aforementioned brand names. I will not state her name or her blog address because I have much more class than that but I will gladly sharpen my claws for now. Indulge me, my friends. Apparently in her eyes, I am not good enough for anyone and I am fugly. Wait, did I say that again? Our flabulous friend with the stupid name is younger than me, obviously more unfit than me and terribly judgmental. She is, at this point in her career, striving extremely hard for fame and fortune. All I want to say is, “Honey, I’ve been there, done that and I’m still doing it. You, on the other hand, are still trying to get THERE.” (Cue the Tyra Banks’ finger-snapping.)

Well done, The Daily Toe. *pats self on back*


It has been a roller-coaster ride. I hung on with all my might, screaming and laughing deliriously at the highs and beating myself up during the lows. It’ll be a spanking new year soon and the roller-coaster ride will start all over again. Watch this space for more tumbling and falling.

My dear dear friends, I wish you good health, love and happiness. God knows that I am still searching for all of the above. Let me know if you have any brilliant suggestions!

Rock on people!